For 3 years, I have been questioning God for not giving me someone that I can grow up with. Why has He not given me someone whom I can talk to and someone whom I can call mine and mine alone. For 3 years, I have been questioning God’s timing – His perfect timing but when I was about to give up, I met you.
“I think you are the right person that I am meant to be with and I’d like to think that you are the right person that God has given me.”
We got along just fine – we talked about anything under the sun, we eat out together, share stories about our ex’s, share hatred amongst our colleagues, and would even talk about our own personal lives. Yes, after all those years, I thought it’s already you.
You who made me believe that fairytales exist. You who made me believe that there is a happy every after in every love story. You who made me believe that waiting is nothing. You who made me believe that now is the best time. And you who made me believe all of these which eventually turned out to be a lie.
Fairytales don’t exist in real life, they happen in books. Happy ever after only happens in stories and there is no perfect time! Everything that you made me believe were all lies! Even You, you are a lie!
However, a friend of mine asked me: “Why are you writing this? And why are you letting the whole world know about it?” I answered: “I am writing this simply because I am starting to hate him. Oh wait! I really hate him. I hate him for even introducing his whole being to this lonely being of mine. I hate him for ruining my dreams. I hate him for making me believe that there is me and him, together. I hate him for telling me he loves me but, never really proved it. I hate him for being the reason I cry myself to sleep at night amd I hate him for even existing.”
But, no matter how hard to convince myself that I hate you, I also hate myself for still caring. I hate myself for still loving you. I hate myself for even wasting a second of my time for someone whom I can never call mine.
I have been telling God that I am already ready and that I am already prepared for whatever and whoever He will give me. Hence, I thought that you are already the one. I thought you’re my forever but, no. In short, you are the wrong person who arrived at the right time.
Cliche as this may sound but, I hate how we ended up not having a chance. We will never really have our own chance.