letting go

I was once here. Stranded in a place called the park of letting go. I was once in a relationship too. I fell inlove and, it also ended. But unlike my other love stories, I was prepared for whatever may come my way. I was prepared for heartbreaks and I then knew what to do. But ours is something unexpected. We ended in a way I didn’t want for us to experience. We just stopped talking and stopped communicating. Really, ours just vanished. And trust me not, I am unprepared – I didn’t know how to cope up after we ended. I have already spent weeks and month/s trying to give myself answers and options on what to do.

But, unlike you, you’re okay with the way we ended. You’re happy and everything for you is just nothing. Were we even real for you? Because eventually, you have already let go. You’ve moved on leaving me in the middle of letting go and holding on. I still find myself trapped in the idea that WE CAN STILL BE TOGETHER. I still think of you even if I don’t text you and I still love you even if I keep myself away from you. But trust me, I’m still trapped in this very same place I was in before. And if you’re not in the same place as I am, I applaud you for being free but I feel bad for you because you’ll get to learn a lot in a place like this.

And I have finally decided to let go.

For months, I have held on to the idea that we can still be together, that we can still share the same stories and build new empires together. I held on to the possibility that we can still continue our love story but not for too long, because I have finally decided to let go. You still shower me with words pleasing to my ear but you do things contrary to how I feel. I will try my best not to reply to your messages in as much as I try to cut off anything that will make us see each other again. Trust me not, I will stop loving you. I don’t see our relationship as a failure though for I see it as something that would make me grow more as a person.

Thank you for the memories. Thank you for the love if there was even any. Thank you for everything. Thanks for the heartache.

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